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There be Pirates…
Foiling 21st-Century Thieves
By Tamia Nelson
tamia@paddling.net
September 23, 2003
There be land-rats and water-rats, land-thieves, and water-thieves, — I
mean pirates, — and then there is the peril of waters, winds, and
rocks.
Shylock, in Shakespeare's The Merchant of
Venice
If Shylock was a waterman, Shakespeare neglected to
mention it. But, waterman or no, the Bard's hard-bargaining moneylender certainly
understood the hazards of the waterman's world. Of course, we paddlers know the
dangers of rock, wind, and water, too.
We don't worry much about pirates, though, and that may be a mistake. Land-thieves
and water-thieves are all around us. They slink silently along in the shadows of
the night. They saunter by with a wave and a hearty "Hello!" during the day. They
lurk around launch-ramps and take-out sites. They haunt suburban residential
streets and rural back roads, and they stand next to us in rental outlets and
retail stores. Some are calculating pros. Others are opportunistic amateurs. But
all of them have one thing in common: they want our kayaks and canoes.
"Property is theft." That was Pierre-Joseph Proudhon's idea, anyway. It's a
debatable point. Even Proudhon had second thoughts later in his life. But how
about "Property invites theft"? Now there's a proposition that anarchists and
capitalists can both embrace, even if they disagree about the remedy. Property
attracts pirates. Just ask Shylock.
Canoeists and kayakers aren't immune. Paddling is a high-visibility sport. Good
gear is costly. And there's always somebody who wants what you've got. So how do
you avoid becoming the next victim? Let's take stock, beginning with
the…
Homefront
A woman's home might be her castle, but no fortress is impregnable. It's best
to stack the odds in your favor. How? Well, there's nothing like a moat for
keeping the bad guys at arm's length. Of course, you won't be able to build a real
moat. (Though that's not such a bad idea for a paddler, is it?) But even a city
apartment can boast a virtual moat. Just keep your fleet out of sight of
casual passers-by. The temptation to display our toys can be overpowering, to be sure,
but it doesn't always pay to advertise. Thieves can't steal what they don't know
about, can they?
A privacy fence helps, if you can afford one and if it doesn't fall foul of the
local zoning code. Indoor storage is even better, and it protects your boats from
the sun's rays, as well. Garage, garden shed, or basement — they can all be
pressed into service. Apartment dwellers will have to do a little lateral
thinking. I've used a pack canoe as a coffee table, and hung kayaks from my
bedroom ceiling. The XL Tripper, however, was a problem.
Under Lock and Key
If you can't hide it, lock it. Better yet, do both. Bicycle cable (or chain)
and lock combos work for boats, too. No lock will keep a determined and
knowledgeable thief from getting what he wants, obviously, but almost any lock
will slow most thieves down. That's often enough, at least in well-traveled areas.
Boats aren't bikes, though. Bikes have steel or aluminum frames. Boats are
mostly wood and
plastic. (Owners of "Tin Tanks" are shaking their heads and grinning!) Just do
the best you can. Canoeists should thread a chain or cable around several thwarts,
and then loop it around the rack, or around a porch post or a tree. Kayakers have
a harder time. If your kayak has a molded seat, you may be able to thread the
cable around one of the seat hangers. If not, you can 'glass or glue an anchor
point inside your boat, or fit a through-mounted security loop from a commercial
kit. Many sit-on-tops
(SOTs) have scuppers (drainage holes) which may allow you to pass a cable.
Want another alternative for a hard-shell kayak? Use a club — a Car Club,
to be exact. Span your cockpit with the Club, and lock it in place. Then thread
your cable or chain around the Club, and secure your kayak in just the same way
that you'd lock a canoe. (CAUTION! The Club must fit very snugly. Even then a
strong thief can probably twist it round and pull it free, if she doesn't mind
tearing up your cockpit rim in the process. Still, it will slow her down, and
that's the whole point.)
On the Road
More and more paddlers are using trailers. They make a lot of sense, too.
They're easy to load and you don't need to worry about getting too much weight too
high. But they also create high-value targets of opportunity for canny thieves
with trailer hitches. The moral of the story? Lock your boats to your trailer, but
don't stop there. Lock the trailer to your vehicle, too. And when you get back
home — or any time you leave your trailer at an unattended put-in or
take-out — lock the trailer's coupler closed. If you don't, you may someday
see your trailer rolling away behind a stranger's car.
But suppose you use a roof rack? While
most folks remember to lock their racks, not every paddler locks his boats to his
rack. The thieves are grateful. And what if you can't lock your rack to
your vehicle? Simply store it inside your car and out of sight whenever it's not
in use. Parking lots at put-ins are not crime-free zones. In fact…
Local Knowledge…
Is your most important defense against latter-day pirates. The Chamber of
Commerce won't tell you which areas to avoid. Neither, often, will the police. But
other paddlers will. Ask. Search the web. Then, when you pull in to the parking
area, use your bump of perception. Look around before you leave your car. Do you
see fire-rings and broken beer bottles everywhere? Are there bullet-holes in the
road signs? Do the trash cans carry messages like "Garbage-Picking is Prohibited
by Law"? Is yours the only car with out-of-state plates? If in doubt, doubt —
and then park someplace else. Maybe a local outfitter will let you leave your car
at his place for a fee. What price peace of mind, after all?
Of course, thieves aren't the only problem. Vandals will sometimes destroy
whatever can't be stolen. Beautiful surroundings are no protection, and wilderness
areas aren't exempt. Farwell lost a bicycle to vandals on the Battenkill,
and friends of ours had a brand-new camper-van hammered into a good imitation of a
Cubist metal sculpture at a Missinaibi River put-in. In any case, even if your inner voice
is silent, park smart. Don't leave valuables in your vehicle. Don't leave food
either. Not all thieves arrive on two legs. Lock your doors — are you sure?
— and never leave a spare key in an obvious place. (Yes, bumpers and
tires are obvious places!)
Don't leave your gear unattended if you can help it, either. Lots of folks
stroll away from their boats, paddles, or PFDs for just a few minutes, only to
discover that something is missing when they return. Solo paddlers planning to walk or bike
back to their car have a problem. If this describes you, it's best to hide
both boat and gear some distance from the take-out, and hope that no one sees you
do it. Consider locking your boat to a tree, too, and bring your most valuable
items of portable property with you on the trek back to the put-in.
Every Picture Tells a Story
No matter how careful you are, you'll lose something sooner or later, to simple
carelessness if not to thieves. Anticipate the day. Write your name inside your
PFD, on paddle blades, and on the underside of thwarts or decks. Record the
description and Hull Identification Number of every boat you own. Keep copies of
purchase receipts and (where required) registration papers. Take pictures or
videos of all your gear, being sure to show any identifying marks or idiosyncratic
features. Then, if the worst happens, you'll have what you need to report a theft,
identify recovered property, or make an insurance claim. Don't assume that your
homeowner's or renter's insurance covers your boat and gear, by the way. Read the
fine print now, before the need arises, and purchase additional coverage if
necessary.
Once the worst does happen, get the word out. Many outfitters will allow you to
post a notice on their bulletin boards, and some paddling clubs maintain websites
where descriptions of lost or stolen gear can be posted. (Limit the amount of
personal information you post publicly, of course.) The odds are against you, but
lightning has
to strike somewhere, doesn't it? You may get lucky.
In the Bag?
If you live in a high-crime area, or if you don't like the idea of leaving your
boat unattended while you shuttle, why not consider the ultimate "stealth" option
— an inflatable or a
folding boat?
These are serious craft, designed for serious paddlers. Folders have been around
for almost a century, and today's inflatables are a far cry from the "rubber
duckies" of thirty years ago. Between them they can tackle almost any water. Some
are even small enough and light enough to carry in a pack with the rest of your
gear. There's probably no better solution to the problems of apartment dwellers
and amphibious bicycle tourists.
*
"We go to the woods to smooth it. We get it rough enough at home." So said Nessmuk.
(And his long-suffering wife would certainly have agreed.) No
paddler likes thinking about the possibility that her boat or gear might be
stolen. Still, you can't hide from something by closing your eyes, can you? Crime
is a fact of life, and intelligent anticipation is the best defense. So don't make
it easy for the pirates. You want to hang on to what you've got, don't you? I
thought so!
Copyright © 2003 by Verloren Hoop Productions. All rights
reserved.