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  WI River, Not Family Style Section
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 9:24 AM (EST)
 

-- Last Updated: Mar-20-13 10:01 AM EST --

"Wisconsin officials say they will close nude beach on weekdays to cut down on sex, drugs"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/travel/wisconsin-officials-say-they-will-close-nude-beach-on-weekdays-to-cut-down-on-sex-drugs/2013/03/19/c063abfc-90dc-11e2-9173-7f87cda73b49_story.html?tid=pm_pop

Guess the pervs and drugsters will have to find a job, visit highway rest areas, or something else on weekdays now (not like this is the only beach on the Wisconsin). Wonder if there might be an opening for a canoe/kayak rental concession there? Lou's Nude Canoes? Cannabayaks? Disinfected between users of course.

OK, dudes and dudettes, riff on this wave.

I just reread the article. The whole scene and cast of actors create such an illogical and convoluted picture as to render it on the far side of Far Side. Fewer people around on weekdays to police others' behavior? LMAO. Dane Co. has to be the to die for district among the WIDNR CPOs. The donut shop is not a temptation.


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Messages in this Topic

 
  "if a tree falls in the forest..."
  Posted by: slushpaddler on Mar-20-13 9:42 AM (EST)
I wonder what kind of fine or charge comes with having sex in the underbrush. Horrors.
 
 
  awaiting CWD's take
  Posted by: slushpaddler on Mar-20-13 9:42 AM (EST)
Lots to work with here!
 
 
  Barely Anything
  Posted by: canoeswithduckheads on Mar-20-13 12:53 PM (EST)
"It just ain't bare!"
"It's how ya use it!"
"Right if'n they left!"
"You 'taw masses chooses?"
"Sex and drugs!!!?"
"On rocks they'll roll!"
"Them's backs-to-natures,
it's too un-hole!"
Some...do say?
Eden more do dread.
Cream by crop gets cultured.
Some don't get Cheesehead.
 
 
  hehehe
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 1:11 PM (EST)
writeswithclassIVrapidsinbrains
 
 
  Can you clarify one point?
  Posted by: guideboatguy on Mar-20-13 10:28 AM (EST)
-- Last Updated: Mar-20-13 10:30 AM EST --

You said "Dane Co. has to be the to die for district among the WIDNR CPOs. The donut shop is not a temptation."

I've never seen the abreviation "CPO". Are you talking about the wardens? Well, if you think patrolling the nude beach would be better than visiting a donut shop, think again. My friend PJC once made the comment here that the first time he paddled by there it clarified the reason most people should wear clothes. I've only seen the place from "a safe distance", but I'd say you'd have to look long and hard to find someone there who wouldn't look a whole lot better with their clothes on. I did see an exception to that once. Just once (I suppose if I paddled that section more often in summer than I do, I'd have seen someone like that more than once, but you get the idea).

 
 
  CPO = Conservation Police Officer
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 11:13 AM (EST)
HEHEHE!!! The humanity!!! The horror!!!

Only nudes I saw in WI was on a bicycle excursion I took up there the summer of 74. I visited a bunch of hippy, organic, back to the land, farmers whose recreations included skinny dipping in one of the local trout streams (brrr...). One day a trout fisherman waded through, smiling all the way. Oh, yeah, the saunas too. And the young ladies hoeing the vegetable patches, topless, National Geographic mode. That's about the sum of my WI, clean nude fun. Oops, I almost forgot -- I lived with my wife up there for 5 years. I mean who needs a nude beach to expose one's shortcomings?
 
 
  but this is what happens
  Posted by: slushpaddler on Mar-20-13 11:45 AM (EST)
-- Last Updated: Mar-20-13 12:37 PM EST --

...when our society's attitude toward the nude human form is puritanical, when our Attorney General orders the naked breast of the statue of the Spirit of Justice covered. Our only exposure to the nude human form is from R movies, porn films and magazines.

 
 
  Hard to See
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 1:02 PM (EST)
through the tattoos and body piercings now days. Gettin' tribal out there or something. Some of em likely have their pit bulls on the beach too. Man, I'd want to be wearing a catcher's cup and carryin' a club instead of swingin' dog bite bait.
 
 
  I agree
  Posted by: guideboatguy on Mar-20-13 1:44 PM (EST)
My earlier comment was simply in regard to the fact that I wouldn't go out of my way to see a bunch of old farts that average around 250 pounds (the beach goers are 99-percent male, and probably 90 percent middle-aged or nearly that age). Thinking they'd look better with their clothes on is NOT the same thing as being offended.
 
 
  mm hmm
  Posted by: slushpaddler on Mar-20-13 5:14 PM (EST)
I've paddled a river section near me and a great lake section that includes a nude colony or beach. I found it was wise to paddle far offshore.
 
 
  People
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 6:23 PM (EST)
of Walmart, PeopleofWalmart.com, might look better without the clothes. Just sayin'.
 
 
  I was just planning my trip to that
  Posted by: Yanoer on Mar-20-13 1:54 PM (EST)
section. Drats.
 
 
  Tickets
  Posted by: gremmie on Mar-20-13 2:15 PM (EST)
still available on weekends! Free if you provide free boat rides to the islands of iniquity. Take some extra paddles, but no light weight carbon models. Heaviest wood you got. You might make a few bucks on dominatrix services -- Dave's Mazo Mania Slaves. We want pictures.
 
 
  Home waters
  Posted by: PJC on Mar-20-13 11:31 PM (EST)
That stretch of the WI R. is the one closest to where I live, my shortest shuttle, been paddling it for over three decades. Its about the only stretch of the river that I could hit after work and be off the water by nightfall.
Its a beautiful stretch, including Ferry Bluff (no, not because there are so many fairies there), Honey Creek (previously known in logging days as the Detour R.), the abandoned town of Cassell Prairie, and quite a few miles where there is not a road or man made sound to be heard or a house to be seen. And, Yanoer, you have paddled it with GuideboatGuy, Rena, and I - last time you came up here.

As far as the idea of starting a livery there, well there already is one with a campground, albeit a little used one, across the river and slightly upstream from the nude beach.
The owner of that business used to object to the beach, back when it started getting really popular after its existence became more widely known over the internet. They used to call in a friend of mine who worked for the DNR way back then and complained that they were losing business because of the "naturists". Dave, my DNR friend, couldn't see what the problem was until the owner handed him the 10X binocs and pointed it out.

In my opinion the beach is only a problem because of the (debatable) overuse on that, and the next few sections of the river. On hot summer days, with people now traveling from all over the country to go to that beach, the overuse problem is exacerbated. On that very small limited part of the river. The rest of those sections are also overused in that season, mostly by clothed people, for other reasons. Canoeing is not the least among them.

The beach itself is isolated, not that large, not hard to avoid from the water - in fact, at most water levels you have to fight, probably drag, your way through shallows to get close enough to the beach to distinguish with any degree of certainty that what you are looking at are nude people and not walrus. There are no walrus in Wisconsin. But if you stick to the thalweg like a prudent paddler you can pretend there are if you're so inclined.

There is a certain seedy element that the beach has attracted since it has become so widely known, of course. There was, for example, a preacher who every few weeks used to gather his flock up to shout and wave banners at folks on the path going into the beach. They'd call everyone in sight "whore mongers" and such. (There are, in fact, neighborhoods in almost any large city where actual professional whore mongers could be found and in great numbers; but no, he brings that stench to our river.) That kind of acrimony I think we can live without on this, or any, river. Especially when they do it to me when I've been asked to pull garlic mustard there.
The "naturists" put on their clothes and helped pull garlic mustard. They pick up trash on the county roads leading there also. The preacher and his flock refused to do so, though.
The naturists are, however odd, contributing members of the river and the wider community. There is even a "clothing optional" private park, isolated also, a few miles from the beach. This is a business, it employs people, brings money to gas stations and restaurants in the community - Its not my thing, but its not the worst thing that's ever happened.
And bathing nude in a river and drying on its banks isn't exactly a radical new idea. People have been doing exactly that for quite some time. Perhaps some of us have done something like this ourselves. We could probably take a trip and use our noses to tell who hasn't recently. If nudity on a beach or in a river is a problem at all, its a problem of scale, not principle.

I wish the DNR all the luck in the world in putting an end to all this sex and drug stuff. (After all, what is a Department of Natural Resources for, if not that?) Closing a that beach on weekdays is bound to have a profound effect on these problems. Bout time.

No, I have no idea what they are thinking.
 
 
  you made me think of something
  Posted by: slushpaddler on Mar-21-13 11:26 AM (EST)
Liveries can certainly bring their own environmental consequences.
 
 
  naturists aren't Playboy bunnies
  Posted by: willowleaf on Mar-21-13 11:20 AM (EST)
-- Last Updated: Mar-21-13 11:25 AM EST --

About 12 years ago the Michigan contractor where I was a superintendent got a request from a naturist campground to have a several weeks worth of work done. Once word got out of the project most of my electricians (at least all of the young guys in their twenties) were clamoring to be on the crew, even though I pointed out that it was a private job meaning their hourly wages would be about 30% less than the prevailing rate on the public jobs like schools that we were doing at the time. We had to draw lots to choose the crew to keep them from whining about favoritism.

It wasn't more than a few days on site before they were calling in begging to be re-assigned. Turned out the average age (65) and weight (250 lbs) of the campers was not what the workmen were expecting.

One claimed the situation was "traumatic" and said "I can't look at my grandparents any more without realizing what they look like naked." They were particularly disturbed by having to work laying conduits in a 3' deep trench and having a smiling line of naked (but for socks, sandals and baseball hats) old guys standing along it watching them -- must have been quite a sight at eye level.

 
 
  No Kidding ....
  Posted by: seadart on Mar-23-13 11:12 PM (EST)
Blacks Beach here in San Diego ... oh the humanity. Gross .

I paddled past the nude beach in Wisconsin near Sauk City many years ago, in fact I was with Paddling Celebrity Darren Bush ,now the owner of Rutabaga ... he was an undergraduate at U of W Madison at that time. Anyway the nude beach was a bunch of very fat naked people when we went by . Sounds like it hasn't changed.
 
 
  Da River
  Posted by: paddle.fisher on Mar-23-13 9:26 AM (EST)
I have been on this river for over 30 years and have seen it all. The Mazo beach has been a nekkid hangout for all of that time and more. It's not the regular laid back crowd that has caused the problems. The same sex crowd that meets for trysts is the real cause. Madison police cracked down on their in town meeting spot a few years back. Then they found the river and open sex got progressively worse.

The problems are there, but not nearly what you'd imagine from readingthe article. The regulars police the main beach and try to keep the wanderers from crossing established boundaries. Weekdays are quiet and laid back. Weekends can be busy and crowded with all ages present.

The WIDNR has been looking to close this beach for years. Complaints are few but it is a drain on wardens who normally manage fishing and hunting and the natural resource.

The rental places up stream send hundreds of canoes, etc down this stretch every summer weekend with instructions to stay to the right after making the bend at Ferry bluff. This has not been a problem for the beach. Those who want to stop do so. Those who want to avoid the beach can easily do so.

So now they will have to dedicate a full time warden to keep people off the beach on weekdays. Makes a lot of sense???
 
 
  No full-time warden
  Posted by: guideboatguy on Mar-23-13 10:29 AM (EST)
It's not hard to find examples of any state agency doing things that don't seem to make sense, but I hate to see someone invent an example of ridiculous action on the DNR's part, just to criticize it. The DNR already has a large number of properties and portions of properties that are closed at certain times, or even closed 100-percent of the time, and in no case did this require any change in staffing or warden duties. Closing a property means they can issue a citation if they find you there, but it doesn't mean they assign someone to keep watch on things. With this new policy (and without comment as to whether it's a good idea or bad) I bet the local warden will simply stop by at times, just as he already does.
 
 
  For what its worth
  Posted by: PJC on Mar-23-13 2:21 PM (EST)
(probably not much), I had to go to Sauk City this morning. My route takes me right past the turn off to the nude beach. I checked it out, thinking there might be a new sign or something. (Maybe I can sell them one? We did the kiosk at the Mazo landing, maybe there's more work to be had down there...)

The gate to the nude beach parking lot was open and since the last snow maybe a half dozen cars have gone back to the lot. I didn't see any certain signs that anyone had done more than just go back there and turn around. The gate to the path leading to the beach was closed but there were a few sets of (shod, of course) footprints in the snow. They were crusted as if they were made in the "heat" of the day yesterday or the day before, and then refrozen overnight. There was an ATV track that went straight under the gate. I'm guessing that was a DNR check since they must have had a key. Otherwise it was as quiet and beautiful as might be expected when alone on a relatively warm, sunny, day with snow lying in the woods.

I also made a check at the Arena landing on my way home. River's up a bit.
Sorry to say someone beat us onto the river there this year. There were drag marks leading up from the motor boat landing from what looked like a kayak and an aluminum canoe. (No sign of motor boats.) These also were a day or two old and crusted. There was no sign of disturbance in the sand of the shallows where they came in, so I guess there has been enough time for a little wave action to erase that also. I saw nothing but older prints leading to the water, so I'm guessing this was a take-out.
On the way out from the landing I passed a house on the edge of Arena and there was a clean, non-snow covered, camo-painted aluminum canoe lying next to a truck on the edge of the driveway. Hmmm, I have my suspicions about who might have beaten us out there.
On a cold day last Feb. I met the guy who lived there carrying a rec kayak down the road away from the Arena landing. That's a pretty long carry to anywhere... Gave him and his boat a lift. He said he had just come off Blue Mounds creek (put in at Blynn Rd.), dealt with some strainers, and landed at the Arena landing. Looks like maybe he did it again this year but with a companion this time.
I saw no signs of boats in the snow at the Mazo landing, but I didn't look at Ferry Bluff, the other most likely put-ins for a take-out at Arena.

So, for what its worth, that's the news from the WI river today... Great Blue herons are back doing their thing in the backwaters. I didn't see anything green popping up in the bare spots yet. There were some maples being tapped.
 

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