I grew up on the ocean, my girlfriend did not. This year I decided to introduce her to ocean kayaking. We had just had a nice first day out, paddling several miles around where I live on the North shore of Massachusetts. Naturally, we saw a ton of seagulls. How can you not? I have always referred to them as a rat with wings, she on the other hand I think only ever saw one on "Finding Nemo".
She kept mentioning how much fun it would be to feed them. I kept saying "Are you out of your mind? We will get surrounded!" She wasn't buying it.
So at the end of the day we landed the kayaks on the beach and were having something to eat. She decided that she would start feeding some bread, then chips, to the few stray seagulls that were around. I started putting stuff in the car. Next thing I know, she is screaming and running for the car. Followed by what had to be 200 seagulls. They were diving at her, trying to get her lunch bag, attacking the anything on the inside on the kayaks, it looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie! I got her into the car and we started to wait until they all went away...never mind that they were all sitting on my truck now!!! An hour later we were able to get to the kayaks, everything including my truck now covered with bird droppings.
These damn inlanders just don't get it! Wait until she realizes there are sharks in the ocean....
Submitted Christopher J. Whalen
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